Circumstances, fear, pain, hurt, and anger wants me to say 2016 was a bad year but I am too strong a woman to give in.  I will not play the victim card, rather I will choose to look at things from a positive view and let the lessons I have learned guide me.

Everything in life is indeed a choice, we are the choices we make.

2016 brought so many realizations and lessons, opened my eyes to realities that I had been blinded from and changed my perception of life. When I decided to write about my 2016 in retrospect I was a bit confused as the year was overwhelming. I was going to write about all my experiences, what I went through, things that happened but then again we are being positive so I’ll share the lessons learned and drop a few words with love from me to you.

An important secret to growth is true friendship, it is one of the greatest gifts you can have.

” He’s my friend, she’s my friend” I can’t even count how many times I’ve said those words without true meaning. A lot of times we mistake people hanging around us as friends, different people come into our lives for different reasons but not everyone is your friend. We have put ourselves in toxic relationships just for appearance purpose knowing full well that they are not good for us. True friendship revealed itself to me in 2016, and part of my growth can be traced back to this. Surround yourself with people who want to see you grow, people who have taken up your needs as their daily prayer points, people who will go miles for you and don’t take them for granted, support them back too. I have learned to keep the circle smaller and stronger.

I am a born leader and I won’t let anyone tell me otherwise.

I’ve always loved taking up leadership roles, like my mother will say ” You are a born leader and that’s why I called you Deborah.” In 2016 I took up the biggest leadership role so far in my life and it was a tasking one, one that I thought I would fail at but at the end of the day was a good one. To be a leader is to be a servant, to be a leader is to understand people, to be a leader is to learn and grow daily and to be a leader is to depend on yourself and to trust others when you have to. I got to work with a lot of people and I understood that we are all different and to live in peace, we have to understand and be each other’s keeper. I would probably blog about lessons I learned while I was president in another post as they are a lot. Anyways we are all leaders and have to live our lives like the leaders we are.

I can do whatever I put my mind to.

” Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Matt 26:41.

A lot of times we do not achieve things we set out to do because our minds are not into it. Last year I was weak, I was failing at a lot of things and I knew I had to put my mind into things if I wanted to get positive results and you know what? It worked for me! Even when I had put my mind to things, sometimes I just felt like giving up, but then giving up is never an option.  I learned to push myself because I have no limits, the barriers I think I have, my mind created them so I can destroy them as well.

 It will all come to an end eventually.

Everything I was afraid of and worried about came to an end. We have let trivial things blind us from the prize and worry us; whatever it is you are going through will end eventually. You just need to know who you are and who you stand for, believe in yourself, don’t stop working hard and everything will be fine.

Sometimes we plan to fail.

Yes! You read that right, the same way people plan to succeed sometimes we plan to fail and we don’t even know it. I believe life is in stages and if you don’t finish a stage the way it should be it will affect the next stage. we should live our lives everyday thinking about how our actions now will affect our future, do right by yourself. Sometimes we do not even know when we are on this path to fail because we are blind, we have created a cloud of distractions and placed it right in the middle of our path. It takes a certain level of self- consciousness to realize this. Focus is key! Focus o the big picture and live right.

Love is not a joke.

I have to over-emphasize this, love is not a joke. I’m a lover girl, sometimes a hopeless romantic and trust me I have confused lust and love a lot of times. It’s so easy for us to say I love you, but really do you know what love is? I read 1 Corinthians 13 and what I thought love was just wasn’t it. I don’t want to go deep into this but if you haven’t read that chapter you should.

It’s okay to be selfish sometimes.

Growing up I was taught not to be selfish, I was taught to always think of others and not make things about myself all the time. Nobody taught me how to stand up for myself, how to put myself first sometimes, I did that on my own and I have realized that it’s ok. I have always been there for people I have called friends, I have walked miles and crossed oceans for people only for them to do otherwise. I have endured toxic relationships, I have allowed myself to be used, I have played the fool just because I didn’t want to hurt others. But in 2016 I said to myself ” no more!” it’s time to be selfish, it’s time to think about myself, it’s time to take care of my feelings and I was a happier person. I know as children of God we are to be selfless, but my dear know when something isn’t good for you and think of yourself.

Forgetting what’s important is the first step to losing focus in life.

We waste our time on trivial things, fight about simple issues, spend time on things that won’t add value to our life and forget about the important things. Forget about family, God our health and what not.  I really don’t want to talk about this much, but know what’s important and give it the right attention.

God is the center of it all.

I want to crown it all with this, a life with God is the best life ever. For so long I had claimed to know God by mouth; to be honest I was ashamed talking about God because I felt I had a bad record, people will just judge me. I met some wonderful ladies that have been able to combine their faith, love for fashion and other things moderately and still show their love for God. They inspired me and ignited the hunger for God. I won’t say I’m the perfect Christian but I will continue striving to be the best I can be.

Despite all the pain and heartache that came with the year, I choose to dwell on the good memories and ignore the bad as trying to erase it will just make me dwell on the past.

In the end, 2016 was a remarkable year and one that has set me in motion for greater things ahead. If given a chance, I won’t change anything, because all that happened made me a stronger and better woman ready to conquer the world.

Cheers to 2016, thank you for the memories.

Ps. I’m thankful to you all for your continuous support, The Black Writer won’t be where it is today without y’all. I appreciate all the comments and referrals, 2017 will be a good and better year for us all.